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ManUtd 0-0 Portsmouth (Community Shield): Nothing Was Delivered

August 14, 2008

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ManUtd 0-0 Portsmouth (Community Shield)Paul James

We all know the season does not really start until next week but for nearly half a century now the official curtain raiser to it has been what used to be known as the FA Charity Shield and is now the FA Community Shield. They didn’t even buy a new trophy when they changed it.

Teams used to share the trophy when they could not beat each other. Nowadays for reasons utterly beyond me there has to be a decisive result so we have penalties. In recent times United have proved incapable of winning it any other way; since we stuffed Newcastle in 1996 we have been in nine Shields, lost five of them and won the other four on penalties. Curiously, we are the only club to have won it on penalties; five times in all.

So on Sunday it was to the handsome but flawed £800 million iconic edifice designed by Norman Foster, a Mancunian. We tried the train through Marylebone to the new Wembley Stadium station and it went quite well. We had good seats for £40, in the lower tier.

About half an hour before kick-off the stadium was embarrassingly empty, especially at the United end. In fact both clubs had sold their allocations and it nearly filled. Pre-match entertainment centred upon Respect, the FA’s new policy of insisting that players show match officials more respect.

The net result was the word “Respect” appearing at every vantage point and a couple of dozen extras from an old Bond movie dressed in black, riding two wheel electric chariots around the place. A group of young ladies calling themselves Escala played electrified string instruments. They had long hair and flowing low cut dresses and the cleavages to match and were engaging my respect but they were some way off and the screens kept showing us shots of bare chested men in the crowd instead.

The concept of respect was tested a little when the camera settled upon the Bronze Narcissus sitting in the stand; there was an audible collective groan before the centre of the United support made an attempt to show a more positive approach. He was with Wayne Rooney who, it appears, can now sit within easy reach of a toilet instead of on one.

Geoff Hurst was the only respectable handshaker unless you count Lord Triesman, the first independent Chairman of the FA. As his title is Lord Triesman of Tottenham he will not sound too independent to Arsenal fans. The respect thing was his idea. I expect he thought he was due some having reached the House of Lords.

The Portsmouth team seems to consist of a kind of recycling centre for used professional footballers, many of whom you still associate with their former clubs. It says something for Harry Redknapp that he has made a trophy winning team of them. United put out as full a team as we can muster in the present crisis; Van der Sar in goal, Neville, Rio, Vidic and Evra across the back, Fletcher, O’Shea and Scholes in the middle and Nani, Giggs and Tevez up front.

We were the better side by a country mile but incapable of turning superiority into goals. This was partly due to the Portsmouth strategy of containment and two excellent saves from David James, partly due to referee Peter Walton’s refusal to award us a clear penalty, but mainly due to our own shortcomings in front of goal.

I have a lot of time for Darren Fletcher. He is captain of his country. We have better players in all positions and he knows he will always be a squad player among the stars, yet he has turned down lucrative offers and remains loyal to the club and when he plays he does a good job irrespective of how famous are the opposition. The word respect springs to mind when one contrasts this with the summer transfer sagas.

In this match he was all over the pitch, showed some lovely skill, got himself in great positions. He is, however, unlikely to win the golden boot even if we pick him at centre forward for every game and let him take all the penalties and it was to him the clearest chances fell.

Our dominance was almost complete. We were first to the tackle, first to the loose ball, and in their half for almost the entire match. Every ball seemed to find a red shirt. Scholes and Tevez were outstanding; Nani, Tevez, Fletcher, Giggs and Scholes were all nearly through their back line at various stages.

A great move broke down in their area when Giggs put in the wrong ball but even then we got it back and Fletcher did well to get in a cross; Tevez dived and headed it wide. Ten minutes before half time Nani robbed Johnson of the ball and fed the perfect lateral pass into the six yard box. Fletcher read it, got to it and somehow contrived to lose it under his foot with the goal at his mercy. It was impossible to believe that he had fluffed it.

Five minutes later Nani lobbed Campbell like an express passing a goods train, chipped James as he came out, but Silvain Distin headed clear. All Portsmouth had to show at the break was a yellow card for Distin who twice abused the linesman, their one corner of the entire match and poor efforts from Diarra and Defoe. Both the yellow cards had fallen into the Respect category; Vidic collected one for booting the ball away, which always has been a pretty stupid way to get yourself booked.

Half time entertainment was footage of what was billed as the greatest moments of the 100 year history of the Shield, but it was just a few clips of seventies and eighties Liverpool and Everton goals. You’d never have guessed that Brian Barwick, the FA Chief Executive, is a Scouser.

There was nothing of Pat Jennings’ goal, or Bobby Charlton’s, or Eric’s hat trick for Leeds, not to mention that hilarious time when Keegan and Bremner were sent off for fighting and threw their shirts on the floor.

On the pitch it was even more underwhelming. Four men carried on a giant white sausage which rose uncertainly into the air and out of which dropped, with some help, a cloth screen with a dozen or so pictures on it. A London bus and two hundred children from the East End each waving a sparkler and we would have had the full blown rehearsal for the 2012 Olympic opening ceremony. Eat your heart out, Beijing.

Minutes after the resumption Nani’s left wing corner kick was punched out to Fletcher, who controlled it well and produced a great chip. At full stretch James just got a fingertip to it and touched it onto the crossbar; he was there to smother Tevez’ follow-up header. Ten minutes later another run by Tevez down the left, a cross that even Fletcher could not miss at the far post but James got there first.

Tevez and Nani were making it all happen. Portsmouth brought on Utaka to try to get some forward movement and he was behind their ten minutes of effort after his first touch, when he was scythed down by Neville. “I played the ball” said Neville, and so he did, through the ankle. Yellow card; respect, Gary, respect.

With over an hour gone Brown came on for Neville, Carrick for O’Shea. Carrick was almost immediately in position on the corner of the area to take Tevez’ clever little pass and deliver a superb return ball; Tevez turned and drove from just outside the area but James produced his second great save, just getting a right hand to it low down.

Before long Tevez was hauled to the ground with a rugby tackle by the grounded Hermann Hreidarsson. Amazed not to get a penalty he opted for a little Argentinean respect, throttling the Scandinavian with intent. He was lucky not to be sent off, and should be grateful that the Portsmouth player did not make a meal of it.

With twelve minutes left Fraizer Campbell came on for Nani and for that period, which was not enough really, he made an impact. He showed his quick feet in the area when Giggs got him the ball; his turn and shot were class but he could not keep it down. Then he used his considerable pace to test Distin, who was just up to it but unamused by Campbell’s subsequent persistence.

Distin had a sly elbow and then a little backheel kick at Campbell, and a few minutes later picked a fight with Fletcher who had gone on to shoot when a Portsmouth player was rolling around on the turf. Ah well, this respect business is not for everyone.

Penalties. For goodness’ sake, how long can it take to get ten blokes standing in two lines of five and toss a coin to decide who goes first and at which end? At long last the officials and goalkeepers sauntered down to the United end. Compared with May it was all a bit light hearted anyway; we didn’t want to lose but it was only the Community Shield. And if you thought Portsmouth’s contribution to the match had been less than their fans deserved you should have seen their penalties.

Diarra stepped up and hammered the first a couple of feet over the bar. Tevez came up for United, took a little skip backwards and hit his low and hard to James’ right at the goalkeeper went the other way; 1-0. Jermain Defoe put his in the same place at Tevez’ only with less velocity and Van der Sar got his lower hand to it; very nearly saved it; 1-1.

Giggs strolled up confidently and stuck a perfect penalty wide and hard to James’ left, zipping inside the side netting; 2-1. Arnold Mvremba took the next, right down the middle; Van der Sar dived right but saved the shot with his legs. Carrick put his hard down the middle, James should have just stood there; 3-1.

Glen Johnson, who had had a miserable afternoon, strolled up for the next one. He took two steps, leant back, put it in Row Z. That was that. Carlos Tevez likes to win anything and he went berserk, rushing in traditional fashion from the centre circle to embrace Van der Sar, but the others were way behind him, trotting along with milder enthusiasm.

Gary Neville and Ryan Giggs went up to get their medals and the Shield and were told to put it back! The FA rules said it had to be presented after all the medals. There was a lovely shot on the screens of Geoff Hurst giving the lads a hearty clap and sour faced Brian Barwick forcing himself to applaud, a clap every two seconds. Now then, Brian, show some respect!

The streamers went up, the rain came down with avengeance and half of the United fans and two Pompey fans stayed for the half-lap of honour. Thus has the season’s curtain been raised. Portsmouth may find it difficult to win another big prize but given their players’ attitude today I can’t say I sympathise.

Copyright © Paul James

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